From Complaint to Contribution: Leading Through Fear and Change

Sarah Bodo
Oct 19
3 min read

Even when everyone agrees transformation is needed, not everyone experiences it the same way. For some, it’s exciting and full of possibility. For others, it feels as if the ground beneath their feet is moving. Familiar processes, long-held roles, and ways of working no longer feel secure.

In leadership coaching, I often hear versions of the same story: someone in the organization keeps complaining, resisting, or finding fault with everything that’s changing.

It’s easy to label this person as negative. But more often than not, what’s behind the complaints is something very human: fear.

Fear of losing control. Fear of becoming irrelevant. Fear of not mattering anymore.

Let me share two common examples.

🧩 The Experienced Specialist During a System Upgrade

In one organization, an experienced specialist had been the go-to person for years. They knew every detail of the legacy system, every workaround, every contact. When a new digital platform was introduced, their expertise suddenly seemed less needed.

Instead of excitement, frustration appeared:

“This system is inefficient.”

“We’re losing control of the data.”

“Why fix something that wasn’t broken?”

Underneath those statements was a quiet truth: I don’t know how to feel competent anymore.

Once the leader took time to listen and recognize their depth of knowledge, the energy shifted. By inviting them to become a mentor for younger colleagues and to shape the implementation based on their insights, the specialist found new purpose.

Their complaints turned into valuable feedback, and their pride returned.

🧭 The Middle Manager in a Flattening Hierarchy

Another leader shared a story of a long-time manager struggling with the company’s shift to agile, self-organized teams.

Used to clear authority and decision rights, this manager now felt sidelined. Meetings became full of subtle resistance: “This won’t work,” “There’s no structure,” “People just do what they want.”

But beneath the criticism was fear again, this time of losing status and identity. The manager didn’t yet see where they fit in a world that needed guidance rather than control.

A turning point came when the leader reframed their role:

“Your experience is essential for helping the team navigate decisions. What if you focused less on approving work and more on enabling others to succeed?”

That shift from commanding to coaching helped the manager regain influence in a new way.

🌱 Reframing the Behavior

In both stories, what looked like negativity was really a search for security.

When people complain, they’re rarely trying to be difficult. They’re trying to find their footing in a world that’s changing faster than their sense of belonging.

As leaders, our challenge is to see the human beneath the behavior, to hear the emotion behind the words, while keeping boundaries that protect the team’s energy.

💬 Turning Complaint Into Ownership

A simple conversation structure can help leaders shift the dynamic:

1. Acknowledge care and contribution.

“I can see how much you care about the quality of our work and our people. That commitment matters.”

2. Reflect the impact.

“At the same time, when discussions stay focused on what’s wrong, others disengage, and I want your voice to have influence.”

3. Invite shared responsibility.

“What part do you want to own in shaping how we move forward?”

4. Clarify what’s true.

Many frustrations soften once people understand the context or constraints more clearly.

5. End with clarity and care.

“I want you to feel part of this change, but that means bringing ideas forward in a constructive way. How can I support you in doing that?”

🔁 The Leader’s Inner Work

The hardest part isn’t the conversation, it’s staying centered.

It takes discipline to respond with curiosity instead of defensiveness, to stay open without absorbing someone else’s anxiety.

Transformation requires both compassion and firmness.

You can understand someone’s fear without letting it dictate the room.

When leaders hold that balance, they embody the culture they want to create: one where people are seen, respected, and accountable for their contribution.

💡 Takeaway

Every complaint hides a wish, a wish for things to feel right again.

When leaders can listen for that wish and redirect it toward action, they transform resistance into contribution.

🌊 A Reflection for You

Where do you see this dynamic in your own organization?

Is there someone whose resistance might actually be a signal of fear or uncertainty?

And how might you invite them back into ownership rather than opposition?

I know it is hard work, but keep putting yourself in the shoes of the other person,

Sarah 🌊