Messy Middle - Path to More Confidence

Blackhole of Achievements

It's strange, but I have these huge dreams I'd love to follow. And something in me just holds me small.

Every other time, I've made it out. I've pushed myself out of my comfort zone, sometimes my fear zone, and just jumped.

That worked in the past. I told myself: if I get something offered which inspires me, even if it scares me, I jump.

I had great sponsors in my career who saw something in me I couldn't see in myself.

But in the last couple of years, the sponsors got less. I had to put myself in the ring. And self-doubt crept in. I kept myself small.

I tried different coachings. It helped me figure some parts out.

I call it the black hole of achievement. Everything I did, everything I achieved, it was scary to do, but the moment it was done, it disappeared into the hole. If you asked me what my biggest wins were, I couldn't tell you.

Now, coaching other people, especially women and quiet people, I see similar patterns. I want to shake them and show them how great they are. What potential they have.

And then I realized: I'm just a bit further along in the same journey.

There's a little light in that black hole now. I can sneak-peek into it and see moments, like creating the framework in my thesis to identify what's broken in an organization. For the first time, I was proud. My complex thoughts finally became understandable. Replicable.

I still feel awkward in new spaces. I can't speak in full sentences until I feel safe. But I know now, after so many years: as soon as I feel safe, I have access to my ideas. I become the squirrel on a sugar rush. I can stand on a stage and tell the story of what innovation really needs.

Another thing I learned about myself: I have access to myself when it's about others. When I'm stepping in to protect or defend someone. Or when I feel they need a push into the cold water.

So hi from the messy middle.

And if you're still unsure what you bring to the table, look into it. And if you can be a sponsor for others, be it. Help other people shine.

Find Your Wave,

Sarah 🌊